Prefer to listen? Find ep. 113 wherever you get your podcasts.
Sober October – The booze break that’s not about you
Sober October is Macmillan Cancer Support’s answer to Dry January, and the month-long break isn’t so much about your well-being; rather, it was created to raise sponsorship donations for the charity.
The number of people taking part each year pales in comparison to Alcohol Change UK’s Dry January, but with £33+ million raised so far for the cancer charity, it’s clear there are a fair few people who give it a go.
And that’s great…
But…
It got me thinking about something important: when is a good time to take a break from alcohol?
Spoiler: there’s never going to be a perfect time. If you came to this post hoping I’d give you a magic date down to the very minute to start your break, I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed.
Instead, let’s talk about how to approach a booze break, whether you join in with Dry January, Sober October, or decide to do it on your own terms.
The Big Breaks: Dry January, Sober October, Sober Spring…
These month-long (or season-long for Sober Spring) challenges are hugely popular. Last year, 15.5 million Brits took part in Dry January through the Alcohol Change UK app alone. Factor in everyone who gave it a go informally and add in global participation, and the numbers are massive.
(See, I told you this wasn’t just a fad!)
But they do get a bit of a bad rap.
The White-Knuckling Problem
The theory goes something like this:
- After a period of overindulgence, you decide to take a break. For Dry January, it’s right after the absolute hedonism of Christmas or in October, after the excesses of summer drinking and the stresses of looking after your own kids all day during the school holiday (savage).
- You’ve been getting absolutely hammered for a solid few weeks hanging out of your arse for most of the Christmas break or in a haze all summer. Then you decide to take an entire month off the booze.
- You start with really good intentions (probably because you’re hungover). But after a couple of weeks, you start jonesing for when things will get back to #normal.
- You’re counting down the days until you’re “allowed” to have your next drink again. You don’t go out, you don’t socialise; in fact, if you can help it, you avoid leaving the house altogether.
And that right there is the crux of what makes these dry month challenges such a no-no for some people.
You take this break and decide to do absolutely nothing with your life in some misguided belief that the only way to succeed is never to go outside into the real world where evil alcohol lives.
I’ve got to be honest with you: that’s a really bad way to do it (but you know, no judgment).
The point of taking a break of any kind is to give your body, your brain, and your mental health a rest from the effects of alcohol, yes.
But it’s also to recognise that you can enjoy your life without relying on booze as the crux of your social situations. So that you can realise that it’s not the glue that holds your life together.
But When It Works, It Really Works
For those who do give it a good old college try, who continue on the path of abstention for those 31 days, hopefully, what happens is they get to the end and recognise that they feel better in themselves.
Maybe your skin’s cleared up, you’re sleeping better, you have less brain fog. It could be an improvement in your mood, getting on better with your other half, or realising that your kids aren’t annoying you quite as much as they usually do.”
(Or maybe you just throw up less…)
You’ve recognised all the positives of taking a break from alcohol, and hopefully, you’ve combined that with actually spending time out in the real world, socialising with your friends and family, and realised that there is a life that includes fun but doesn’t always have to come with alcohol.
The “Perfect Time” Myth
There is another way…
The other side of the ‘designated month’ coin is just choosing to take a break at any time.
The thing about Sober October & Dry January is that these are somebody else’s rules, and I don’t know you, but I hate being told what to do, even when I know it’s good for me (Am I stubborn? Stupid? A bit of both?).
But when it’s a choice I’ve made for myself, I’m all in!
So if you’re in any way similar, then today I want you to know that you don’t have to wait until there’s a designated month to take a booze break. You don’t have to follow somebody else’s rules.
You can choose to take a break from drinking in any form you wish, whenever you want.
Light bulb moment, I know!
OK, So When Do I Take A Break?
The biggest challenge I hear about taking an anytime break is people trying to find the “right” time. Does this sound familiar:
“I can’t do it in March because it’s my 40th, and I can’t do it in April because it’s my best friend’s hen/stag do and we’re all going away. Oh, and I can’t do it in May because we’ve got that holiday booked. Oh, maybe June? No, wait, we’ve got that big end-of-year company do in June. And July, well, that’s the start of the summer holidays…”
And so on and so on.
There will always be a reason for you not to take a break.
It’s pointless looking at your diary and waiting until all the stars have magically aligned and everything in life is set exactly as you want it. That day is never going to arrive.
Life is always going to keep on lifing (I believe that’s how the kids say it). Things are always going to occur. You’ll always have birthdays, work dos, holidays, and catch-ups. There’s always going to be something.
Make It Work For You
Instead, you need to grab that bull by the proverbial horns and make a decision as to when it’s best for you to take a break on your own terms.
That’s when you’re likely to make the most of it. When you’ve recognised you’re ready. Whether that’s because you’re feeling rotten, you’ve got things coming up you want to be on point for, or you’ve just been thinking about it for ages. Whenever that is, that’s when you should start.
And it also doesn’t have to look the same for you as it does for everyone else. Taking some time out for you could be:
- Complete abstinence for a month
- Trying mindful drinking
- Zebra striping for a month
- Setting your own guides for alcohol consumption
There are so many different ways you can approach this. One of the things that frustrates me is that whenever we talk about moderation, it’s always either taking a straight month “off” (which in itself implies it can never be the norm) or counting your drinks every time you’re out. And there are so many nuances in between.
Make It Count
The most important thing is that you make sure you get the most out of your break, however it looks.
Don’t just go in blindly, restrict yourself to a life of beige boredom, doing nothing, seeing no one, sitting inside hermit-like and feeling miserable.
After a few days of reducing your alcohol intake, you’ll be feeling more energised, clear-headed, and motivated; this is the time to really make the most of your life:
- See the people who mean the most to you
- Spend time with your family
- Catch up with your friends
- Start a hobby
- Write a book
- Do that thousand-piece jigsaw of a sandy beach
- Learn to speak Klingon…
Whatever’s on your to-do list, when you’re taking a break from alcohol, it’s a great time to sink your teeth into it and give yourself something positive to focus on rather than just sitting there thinking about what you “can’t have.”
And remember, you have permission (not from me, you just have it) to set your own booze break rules. You don’t have to follow the crowd into oblivion; you can be the boss of your own destiny.
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