The Third ‘R’ of Mindful Drinking
Prefer to listen? Find ep. 152 wherever you get your podcasts.
Do you know what happens when you try to sit for too long on a 2-legged stool?
You fall on your arse.
Why?
Because each leg has to take its share of the weight, or it just doesn’t work.
When it comes to mindful drinking, everyone talks about the first 2 Rs – Reduce & Replace.
But what about the 3rd R?
It needs to take its share of the load, yet it gets far less of the conversation
Until today…
There Are Three Stages To Moderating Your Drinking.
Everyone Knows About the First R: Reduce
It’s the thing that drives us all to get started
“I must REDUCE my alcohol intake”
It’s the inspiration for many an Instagram post, verbose blog and wistful TikTok reel as the young, nubile, but deep in thought 20-something stares out over a steaming cup of BS – sorry, I mean coffee – looking thoughtfully into the middle distance with the caption “Changing my drinking gave me back the life I never knew I was missing” emblazoned across the top in curly serif font no. 47.
But clichés aside, yes, drinking differently will fundamentally change your life – to what degree, only you can decide and only if you can find ways to make it stick.
The Second R: REPLACE
I’m a BIG fan of this one.
Swapping your full-strength drinks for low, no, or light ones is one of the best behaviour-change tactics you can use to make a lasting impact on your drinking habits.
But…
They don’t work for everyone.
I don’t think that’s too shocking a revelation, is it? Some people like pineapple on a pizza (🙋🏾♀️), some people can’t stand it (weirdos), but neither one is right or wrong (feel free to debate passionately in the comments).
The good news is that today there is literally a low, no, or light-alcohol drink for every occasion. I even came across a 0% Sambuca a little while back (although I’ve got to say, I’m not sure when I would ever want Sambuca sober, but each to their own).
So whether you find low and no to be life-saving or you’d rather stick to alternatives that don’t remind you of booze at all, there will be something out there to help you replace what you’re used to in that moment.
The Third R: What Is It That Everyone’s Missing?
It’s quite simply, to REMOVE.
But not in the way you might think in an article about alcohol.
Could you remove alcohol altogether? Of course, you could. But that’s not what I’m suggesting. Although if it’s what you’re aiming for, then I am fully on board with that for you.
No, what I want you to remove is all the negative bullshit that comes with your choice to drink differently.
Remove the shame of acknowledging that you’re ready for a change.
Remove the embarrassment of not being able to drink like you used to in your 20s.
Remove the expectation to drink on command in ways that make other people feel comfortable about your choices.
And remove the perfectionist trap that tells you that if you have one or two drinks on a night out, you’re somehow failing at your attempts to moderate.
Remove the binary thinking of I’m either drinking or I’m not.
Maybe some nights you start out not drinking, and then you see they have your favourite wine, and you decide to allow yourself a glass – that’s OK.
And on the flip side, you could be geared up for a night of debauchery and realise as you get to your destination that actually you’re not feeling it tonight and you’d rather protect your energy for tomorrow – that’s OK, too.
Don’t Fall On Your Arse
You need all three Rs to make a meaningful change to the way you allow alcohol to show up in your life.
Reduce & replace are hugely important, and I’m glad that we talk about them a lot.
But unless we keep adding remove to the mix, we’ll forever be trying to balance on a two-legged stool and finding ourselves flat out on the floor (again) instead.
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