And The 4 Steps To Take When One Hits
Prefer to listen? Find Ep. 173 wherever you get your podcasts.
Ah cravings!
Or maybe you prefer the term hankering? That’s cute and harmless.
Jonesing? No, that’s too strong.
Perhaps you call it an urge, an impulse, a pull…
Whatever word you use, the desire to reach for a drink when you’ve already told yourself that you don’t want one can be a pain in the arse that you just don’t need.
Maybe something happened at work today that made you want to ‘take the edge off’, or maybe it was passing by your local, and the welcoming smell of familiarity and comfort that triggered an automatic draw towards booze.
Whatever kicked it off, you now have two choices:
- Go with it
- Do something about it
Neither is right or wrong, but if you’ve decided that you don’t want to allow alcohol into this moment, then, damn it, you want to be able to stick to your convictions.
When is a Craving not a Craving?
Sounds like a silly question, right? But it’s not.
Not to be cryptic or anything, but just because you want booze, it doesn’t actually mean that you want booze.
Wait, what?
Let’s take the example of walking past your favourite pub or bar.
As you round the corner, something starts to almost tingle inside of you.
You walk closer, and the smell of beer and wine starts to trigger something deeper in you.
You walk past the spot where you usually sit by the window with your friends, and it feels so easy to slip inside for a quick one and let those feelings all wash over you and carry your cares away.
Sound familiar?
Well, very little of that is about the alcohol itself.
It’s nostalgia; it’s romanticising the past to bring it into the present.
It’s a feeling that comes flooding back to you, activating all of the senses it did the first time around and making you feel like it can do it all over again.
Maybe it can, maybe it can’t, but you’re not craving the alcohol in that instance.
You’re craving connection, relaxation, laughter, friendship, stress relief, or any number of other states that you used alcohol to get you to, but that you feel you’re missing in the moment.
How long do Cravings Last?
This is a really good question, and I’m so glad you asked.
When a booze craving hits, it can hit hard!
And it can feel like it’s not going away anytime soon.
Whether you’re trying to go teetotal or just taking a break, or just having the night off, it can hit the same way, and it can feel pretty intense sometimes.
Even after 5 years of drinking differently, I still have moments when it feels like only a rosé will do.
While it might feel like a lifetime in the moment, in reality, most alcohol cravings pass anywhere between 5 and 15 minutes, but it’s how we react to them that can make them feel never-ending.
Sitting/standing in the same environment that’s set you off and just hoping it’ll wander off on its own somewhere isn’t likely to prove very effective (sorry).
The good news is that now that you know it can be as little as 5 minutes until the urge to grab that drink passes you by, you can start to see how you can do something positive about it.
What to do About It
1. Acknowledge it. Trying to pretend it’s not there is just going to piss it off and make it shout louder – nobody likes being ignored. Besides, ignoring your problems does not make them go away.
Stop what you’re doing and take a moment to accept how you feel.
In this moment, I want you to know that you are not weak for wanting a drink when you said you wouldn’t. Everything you’re feeling is normal (annoying, but perfectly normal).
2. Think about it. What is it that you actually want? Are you feeling lonely and in need of good company? Are you stressed and in need of a wind-down moment? Are you feeling hungry and craving something to eat?
When you remember that a craving isn’t about the booze, then you’ll have more space to think about what it is that you really need.
3. Ride it. Where is this craving trying to take you? Will it really be ‘just one’ drink – in which case you might be ok with that? Or will it lead to more? There was a reason you decided that this was a non-drinking moment – what are you putting in jeopardy (if that’s not too strong a word) if you go back on the agreement you made with yourself?
4. Replace it. The truth is that 5 minutes really isn’t much time at all. Even if it lasts a bit longer and you find yourself heading into 10-15 minute territory, it’s still just a small fraction of your day.
The trick here is to find something else to do in that time. Occupying your mind, or your body, with literally anything else is a much (much) better option than just wishing a craving away.
A few things you could try:
- Go for a walk (getting some fresh air and a touch of vitamin D can genuinely work wonders).
- Pump it up and go climb 3 floors of your building (exercise is your friend even when you hate it)
- Brush your teeth (toothpaste and booze do not make a good cocktail)
- Phone a friend
- Eat an ice cream (it’s ice cream, you don’t need a reason)
- Have an alcohol-free wine or non-alc beer (not if it makes you crave the hard stuff)
- Cook/plan to cook yourself a really nice dinner (a treat by any other name…)
- Journal what triggered the craving (how it feels and what you’re doing about it)
- Take a shower
Don’t
- Scroll on Instagram and compare yourself to everyone else and their shiny sober days posts.
- Give in to temptation without fully thinking through why you made the choice not to drink in the first place.
- Beat yourself up for falling back into habits you’ve built and relied on for decades.
Changing the way you respond to a craving for alcohol and going from autopilot submission to taking full control might not be plain sailing at all times (yep, I’m mixing up those metaphors again).
But you’re not just resisting temptation here. You’re becoming someone who acknowledges that alcohol has a very real role in your life, but that the part it plays is now very much up to you.
And, as a mindful drinker, sometimes you might decide that you do want to indulge, that that glass of rosé is in fact the perfect partner for this moment.
And if you do, that’s ok, too. Just make sure it’s your choice, and not your reaction to a feeling that could be better managed just by brushing your teeth…
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